We asked our community about their experiences in the workplace…
This is not a quick easy read, but it is however VITAL if you are an employer and still have no knowledge of neurodivergence. It’s no secret that neurodiversity in the workplace is still severely overlooked….
45% of neurodivergent people have lost or left their job
Only 50% of neurodivergent employees feel their organisation is supportive and open
65% of neurodivergent employees fear discrimination
Here are the stories told by the people themselves about their experience in employment…
———————————————————————
So I am an accredited social worker, and finished my degree around 3 yrs ago.
In the last 2 yrs I have been diagnosed with ADHD and this year diagnosed Autism, and fibromyalgia. I have had 3 “social work” jobs since finishing my degree all of which I experienced incredible burn out which was my reason for leaving. My most recent job was the one that tipped me over the edge.
I was working for a religious NGO as a school counsellor in primary schools. I was very vocal about my ADHD and they would capitalize on it, asking for my help to develop programs or lived experience perspective when they started an ADHD assessment service. They would use me for my neurodivergence when it suited them to say they were “inclusive and progressive”. However at the start of this year I started experiencing physical pain to the point I couldn’t use my hands anymore.
I had to take a lot of time off work, and led to me falling really behind. I kept asking for support over and over again, basically begged them to help me manage my workload as when I was away no one would do my role. I asked my clinical supervisor for supervision which she agreed to do, but then my team leader blocked her and said that they didn’t have capacity to allow her to help me, as they were short staffed (mind you she told me she had nothing to do).
I then got told by my team leader that maybe “I should take more time off work if I am stressed”, putting it back on me as if I was at fault.
I tried to explain to him that it wouldn’t help with the work load and stated that he needed to provide me accommodations in order to do my job. He refused and said he couldn’t do anything to help. I shut down then and gave up. I took medical leave and decided to quit. I handed my resignation in before 5pm on a weekday, and my team leader sent me a text at like 9pm saying how disappointed he was in me for not consulting him first before I resigned. I then decided to do an exit interview where I didn’t hold back. I told him that the organization was both overt and covertly ableist in their policies and procedures.
I told him that they need to do better to support their employees to stay; and it’s a joke that they can claim they are neuroaffirming and they have the privilege of working with neurodivergent individuals whilst simultaneously gaslighting and victim blaming employees who are neurodivergent. And it’s even worse when they use them for their lived experience. He then gave me “advice” and said he doesn’t normally say this to employees but he also works differently but has had to (word for word) “put himself into a box” in order to work in my industry and that I am never going to find a place to work if I don’t do that (he also referenced how I’ve had a lot of jobs). I told him that I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my working life and I would be disappointed in myself if I didn’t try to find the right job that suits my needs and supports me. He told me he didn’t think I would find anything better. I do not feel safe to go back into paid employment in that capacity anymore. The industry does not support my needs and there’s this expectation that social workers should overwork themselves and if you don’t you’re not doing a good job.
That was Jan this year, and I’ve since not found another full time job that’s been appropriate but I would prefer to not have any money then put up with that. It’s been incredibly exhausting and has created a lot of stress and long term problem. I believe my fibromyalgia was triggered from my job and if I didn’t have that stress I wouldn’t be in pain everyday like I am now. I am now trying to run my own private practice doing neuroaffirming online counselling, it’s not a happy ending as such as it’s very stressful and money still not a livable wage but so much happier 😃
—————————————————————-
I am a 30-year old writer in the advertising industry. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was around four or five years old. I took occupational therapy, but was never medicated and did not follow through with other interventions. In the country that I live in, neurodivergence and mental health issues are still heavily stigmatized. Not to mention, mental health services are inaccessible to so many people.
———————————————————————-
I am 40 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I have never really known what I would like to do and have bounced around for many years. I have tried to complete formal training many times.
I was promoted about a year ago to an Area Manager of a Cleaning Company. I gave my absolute all to this role. Sacrificing friendships, play dates for my children, and leaving myself exhausted at the weekends. I completely burnt out about two months ago. Had two weeks off sick. I went back, work did do what they could to help, but ultimately my workload is overwhelming.
Last week I handed in my resignation, I have nowhere to go and no idea what to do next.
I have so much to offer and I just feel so lost and under appreciated.
I know if I gave 50% less I would still be doing ok, but I just can't.
I feel like I have failed.
———————————————————————-
I am a 26 year old AuDHD’er who worked as a teacher for three years prior to losing my job this past year. I went to school for my special interest (which ended up being my content area) and got into teaching sort of randomly, because I needed a job relevant to my expertise. Teaching middle school is a challenge, but it is a nightmare when your admin throws you in blind. The first year was uncomfortable, but admin was understanding as it to why it was difficult for me.
The second year, I began to experience autistic burnout and struggle to keep up with the demands. I also began to notice that none of my fellow staff was interested in being kind to me or accepting me into their “cliques”. ESPECIALLY the new 7th grade lead admin. She threw me into tons of uncomfortable scenarios with little to no warning as a sort of trial by fire (for example, one on one meetings with parents with no heads up, and changing my lesson plans last minute - which is not common at all and actually a huge insult) By the time the year ended, I vowed to leave teaching, but it wasn't in the cards for me.
For the third year, I worked hard to have an organized and productive classroom. I came in on weekends and stayed late. I was confident in my ability to finally have my classroom environment be consistent and how I wanted it. I also felt more confident in the material than ever before. In spite of my own effort and positivity, I was met with so much negativity and “side-eye” type behavior from admin. The NEW new 7th grade admin lead immediately told me “I need to know if you really don't want to work here” and “I can tell this isn't your calling.” before I had ever indicated anything of that nature. I was confused and played it off, but after many other occasions such as this, and unnecessary negative comments, I quickly tumbled back into autistic burnout. It was like a self fulfilling prophecy.
I decided I needed to get ahead of the burnout. I got in touch with the head admin and tried to get accommodations. I did not hear anything back from him in spite of his promise to do so. I experienced a depressive episode from burnout and lack of support which led to suicidal ideation. I would dry heave from anxiety before coming in to work. One time I turned around on the way to work and went home, because I was physically shaking. I needed to leave the situation for awhile.
Admin immediately put up red flags about me due to my short mental health leave. I had previously been struggling with missing days of work (I was within my PTO) and admin was noticing. I got a letter of reprimand that stated I had a “glum demeanor and monotone voice” and that I “did not attempt to socialize with fellow teachers” and “rarely had a smile on my face.” I also had the 7th grade admin come in on a group of my SPED-combined class and call them “a bunch of lunatics in an insane asylum” as they can be a little louder than my other classes.
At this point, I spoke up. I went to HR and sought help. They set me up with a few meager accommodations. My main request was to have light covers and use my Loops. I also asked that I would no longer be ambushed by the 7th grade lead admin for one-on-one meetings that were not previously scheduled.
I was watched like a hawk. I had everyone giving me the side eye and acting like they didn't get what I was going through (so they could gain favor with admin.) I got another letter of reprimand. It was for showing up 10-15 minutes late to work, and for allowing 5 of my kids to stand in the hall a minute before the bell rang. Those kids were already in the hall because it's an extended learning area hallway. Nothing I should have been reprimanded for.
In the end I was told my contract was not being renewed due to “lack of improvement,” and listing things over the course of the year that were either petty mistakes all of us made, or only related to my disabilities.
At the end of the year, my kids’ SOL scores were the second highest in the entire school, bringing 7th grade up almost 200 points since my first year. Not sure how that qualifies as “lack of improvement.”
—————————————————————
I’m Alicia, a 31-year-old American living abroad in Amsterdam. I typically work remotely (from home), but I just returned from an off-site meetup for our Content team directly followed by one for our Marketing team over the course of 10 days, across two different countries (Switzerland and Spain).
The part in Switzerland with the Content team was much smaller (just 7 of us) and was pretty well-planned. We had breaks between sessions, were able to take our lunches and dinners with the group or on our own as we liked. There were a few activities that were a bit tough sensory-wise, but nothing too challenging that we couldn’t opt out of.
The next part in Spain was much harder. Our schedules were jam-packed. But the forced socializing actually began with breakfast each day, as we weren’t allowed to sit to eat anywhere other than at the large team tables each morning with our colleagues. Lunch was the same, forced dining in large groups every afternoon. We were allowed to make our own private dinner plans on just one of the nights, but the other nights, we were expected to join the group for dinner directly finishing our workday and unable to return back to the hotel until the whole group finished.
Day one in Spain was the hardest for me. Back-to-back presentations from individual team members that we were meant to sit quietly and listen to before a quick Q&A, then on to the next. In total, we had to sit through ten 45-minute presentations that day, then spend all meals together before/during/after. We began at 9:30 a.m. and by 4:30 p.m. I started to break down. I felt tears pricking the back of my eyes from the overstimulation and had to excuse myself for the final few presentations. I was told it would be good if I could rejoin the group for dinner, so I met them in the lobby and was shoved into a taxi with colleagues I’d never met before to go to a restaurant I’d never been to, all about 30 minutes after having a total meltdown. We ended up staying at the restaurant for three hours, so I didn’t get back to the hotel until 11 p.m. Barely any time to unwind before going to sleep so I could get up early enough the next morning to eat (group) breakfast before the next day of meetings began at 9 a.m. sharp…
Day two was back-to-back group projects. We were split into groups by leadership and given an assignment to create an ad campaign for a specific target demographic. This day was slightly less challenging than the day before in that we weren’t just sitting there listening to one person speak at us, we were instead engaging with our smaller groups to achieve a task… But the socializing was still draining, especially in a group project setting where you’re expected to contribute and communicate consistently with those around you for hours on end before presenting a project for team-wide scrutiny at the end of the day. Our team didn’t win any prizes in the end, but that wasn’t for lack of effort put into the assignment, believe me.
Day three was a full morning of group exercises and presentations, followed by (group) lunch and then a 45-minute bus ride to a nearby winery, which sounded promising initially. Our manager told us that we’d start with a leisurely ~20 minute stroll from the bus to the winery itself, followed by a tour of the wine cellar and a paella-making competition between teams, then an evening of drinking and karaoke. After all the socializing we’d already done, this seemed like a tall order from the get-go. But when we arrived and the “leisurely ~20 minute stroll” was actually an hour-long hike with steep inclines and little shade in full-sun during a summer afternoon in Spain with, I was sweaty and hot and red and already in sensory overload. Then a group of guys I work with (who know I have sensory issues) cannon balled in the winery’s pool and absolutely soaked my (already sweaty, and non-athletic/sweat-wicking since we were told to expect just a leisurely stroll!) clothes from head to toe, I broke down. I excused myself and had a crying jag. I stimmed until I felt grounded again. My supervisor came looking for me to make sure I was okay and ask how he could support me, but by that time, I was already spent.
The frustrating thing for me was how many times throughout the trip I felt like I had to explain that I was overwhelmed because I was autistic and had ADHD, and that the response from every single person was a surprised “Oh, really? But you don’t seem autistic, you’re so sociable” and just made it abundantly clear to me that no one I work with really understands neurodiversity or how to support neurodivergent colleagues.
I have already written out feedback for this event in particular as well as general recommendations for reasonable accommodations that could be made for neurodivergent colleagues in the future, whether in-office or off-site. But for me personally, I don’t foresee needing much more support now that I’m back to working remotely, so I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to evaluate whether the company ultimately even ends up implementing anything that I recommend.
Long story short: I’ve never been on a work trip so clearly NOT designed for neurodivergent brains or for introverts or for anyone who’s not a “work hard, play hard” kind of American who brags about loving the grind and the hustle… I was shocked at how quickly I became overwhelmed and struggled with a lot of guilt around what I “should” be able to handle because I saw what my colleagues were able to handle as neurotypicals. I got back two days ago and I’m still recuperating!
—————————————————————-
I’m a 25 year old ADHDer, & suspected AuDHDer. I started my first job at a small company when I was 22, a few months after graduating from university and receiving a formal ADHD diagnosis.
I was open and honest when I joined the company about having ADHD and requested accommodations to help me work better. Despite originally being met with understanding, it quickly became apparent that management weren’t willing to meet accommodations in practice. Unclear goals, verbal communication I found hard to process and a lack of flexibility when it came to tasks meant I found myself having failed my probation period, and given 2 weeks to “fix” my output, with no warning whatsoever that I had failed.
I had disclosed to a manager earlier in the week prior to my probation review that I had a panic attack as a result of trying to finish a heavy task on time, which was twisted in my review as a reason why I had failed; as the work I was doing “shouldn’t be causing me that levels of stress”. I was able to “fix” my output within those 2 weeks and keep my job, but it caused me a high level of stress and forced me to mask even harder than I previously had in order to retain my role.
I have since moved into an environment which has been more welcoming to my accommodations and plays to my strengths with my neurodivergent brain (which included a promotion within a few months of securing a permanent role with the company!) but I still find it difficult to ask for the accommodations I deserve due to this past experience. It also plays into my imposter syndrome and RSD, as I often find myself constantly worrying I’m not doing a good enough job, or am not reading between the lines enough of praise or feedback, after the shock of learning I had failed my probation.
——————————————————-
I'm a doctor. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my final year of specialty training. For my final exit exam, I applied for the reasonable adjustments suggested by my ADHD clinician, but was told that they couldn't fulfil it. I quit the training and did not sit the exam as I did not want to risk failing a very expensive exam, and potentially let them financially profit from my ADHD if I had to resit it. I later heard that they couldn't even accommodate pregnant trainees who needed to use the bathroom during the exam, so I guess I never had a chance in such a horribly-planned assessment. I'm now applying for a more neurodivergent-friendly medical specialty.
——————————————————-
I'm 33 and have on the list for ADHD assessment for over 3 years. It's widely recognised by medical staff that I am neurodivergent.
I did well in school despite poor effort and organisation grades, and passed at uni after struggling. I've always worked in childcare/education mainly with SEND. For so long my passion and drive were taken advantage of and I frequently fell into burnout.
I currently have several jobs. One zero hours remote work, a few caring jobs as a PA, and I work for a children's charity full time. Even without diagnosis, my work now are better than I've had at accepting and accommodating. My managers met my nervous ‘I don't have a diagnosis yet but thought you should know…’ with openness. They said regardless of a label/which label a diagnosis would bring, if I'm struggling then I deserve support. They supported an Access to Work request. I don't get told off in meetings when I don't look at my camera every second, or I shift around in my seat. We talk about ways they can support me, what works and what doesn't. The flexible hours are so good for me. I cried in my Access to Work assessment when they asked why I hadn't applied before… because I didn't know I was allowed support and every job before had made me feel like if I had an issue it was my fault. Not that there were tools to help me.
My carer work is great. Always has been. Although it's with people with different needs to my own, their families are understanding when I've shared. And my neurodivergence helps me at least in part to empathise with them and give better care, at least in part I understand some of what they experience.
I personally believe my buzzy brain makes me better at the work I do. But now I know I also deserve tools to help me, so I can work my best without burning out. It's a learning curve I'm still on, and weird to adjust but I'm getting there.
—--------------------------------------
47yo male, just diagnosed ADHD, son diagnosed ASD, pretty sure we're both AuDHD really. I want to share a small thing about the little adaptations we make.
I hate every single piece of cutlery in our office. The only good-handled spoons are soup spoons, and that's a hard pass for me. The forks all have no weight to the handle and don't even come close to fitting well in the hand. Every time I open the drawer to get something out I die a little inside.
Of course there's an easy solution, I could bring my own cutlery! But then you're that guy who brings his own cutlery, and let's not pretend people aren't going to find that a bit weird, especially when you're new.
On the plus side, I've leaned into it and it's a running joke now amongst a few of us, and it's got to the point where actually it'd be fine if I brought my own cutlery in, so after working there for 18 months I can start to fully enjoy lunch!
—-----------------------------------------
I’m a 37 year-old professional researcher in Canada. I have a master’s degree in my field, and I’ve been doing this work for over a decade…that is until December 2023. I was Dxed with mixed type ADHD at age 34 or 35, while I was working for my most recent employer. I thought this would protect me, but it didn’t. I worked there for almost four years before a change in staff threw our team into chaos. My ADHD couldn’t keep up with the constant process changes—I’m talking literally in the middle of my day I could get pulled into a discussion on how and why we do any given task, and if the team didn’t like my answer they would change the process immediately. I was drowning, and instead of helping me when I asked, like I had always done for them, my colleagues made me out to be some weak herd animal that was threatening to bring everyone down. I emailed my boss saying I was struggling with my ADHD, that the team wasn’t being supportive, and that I was at a crisis point crying every day. They never acknowledged my email and a month later fired me for poor performance, effective immediately. With no verbal or written warning. I spoke to a lawyer who explained that while I had a case against my former employer, it would take years to fight it and I wouldn’t be rewarded very much. I ended up taking their severance package, because as a single parent I couldn’t afford to stop receiving an income. But it’s been so hard on me mentally that I haven’t been able to apply to many jobs. It’s now October, the severance money dried up long ago, and my unemployment money is about to run out. It’s hard not to think that if they had just been willing to accommodate me, I might still have my job. And I’m so scared that when I go back to work, I’ll just have the same experience over again.
———————————————
If you made it that far - impressive! If you want to learn more about how you can support yourself or your employees then you can explore our resources below or join our community to join in the conversation further.
Welcome to YOUR community 💖 Whether you are looking to start conversations away from social media, access our resources, get member access to our events or explore our entire library of creators, authors & people we love. This is your space to explore everything neurodivergence in a safe environment. With templates to explore, exclusive discounts & members only content this is your way to immerse yourself in our community.
